What is Love?

Dear Friend,

As I have read different people’s pages/notes, I noticed in the midst of their poems, comments, questions, etc. one thing stood out a lot. That is the question of (what is love?). I have taken time and actually looked into this thing called love. Some say it is an emotion, state of being, or even a choice. Therefore I ask that you explore with me this over occurring question. I noticed that love have been separated into three types: Eros, Philo, and Agape.

Eros: This is the love that you experience when you feel like you are floating in the clouds. This can also be seen as either lust or affactuation. Nothing is wrong with this love really. However in this state one can be very susceptible to heart break, divorce, even death. Yes, divorce, usually married couples did not let their relationship get out of period of affactuation. Usually couples who take the time to get past this stage and examine each other in real life situations like how they handle his/her finances, how they take care of things they own, or how they interact with other people, etc. have a better chance of lasting in marriage than those who don’t. As stated nothing is wrong with Eros, however it is an emotional state. As the bible had pointed out that it is pretty dangerous if we let our emotions be the driving force in whatever we do. So be careful not to let this be the leading force or you will be falling in “love” or other things as well.

Philo: This love is probably the most common of the three types. This love usually lead to one being betrayed especially if that person had invested a good amount of time or more. This love is known as Conditional or Worldly Love. With this love, one loves the other on the condition of what that person can do for them. This can be seen with majority of the time with people with a lot of friends (so they call them). However when something goes wrong or the condition is not met then the “friends” would be no where to be found. Not only do they disappear usually end up being the starter of rumors against you. This love would be the worse one to have in a relationship, not to say a marriage. This goes back to what I was telling you about couples who do not get out of the affactuation stage. The marriage end up having this type of love because emotions lead and eventually emotions will run out of gas. Also loneliness can also lead to this type of love because a person would tend to try to buy someone’s friendship, affection, or companionship. Any friendship that comes with a price is majority of the time an expensive one that can lead to buyer’s remorse.

Agape: In my opinion the greatest love of all (Sorry, Mrs. Houston-Brown), this love known as unconditional love. So how would I spot this love? Good question, I am glad you asked. Remember these three words, God is Love. It took me a while to understand it growing up until I read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. God came to earth in the form of Jesus to show us the way. Why only those four books? Well those books gave me majority of my understanding along with other scriptures like I Corinthians 13 (if you really want the other scriptures send me a message and I can give it to you). Anyways through the life of Jesus even the time he was crucified, Jesus showed us how to love unconditionally (Agape). From his life, I learned that if you can make this comment in your heart (and not verbally say it) one is showing unconditional love. That statement is: “I don’t have to, but I will do it anyhow”. Think about God did not have to come down to earth but he did it anyhow. Jesus did not have to feed the two sets of multitude, but he feed them all anyhow and had some left over in both cases. Jesus did not have to go to jail, get beaten, and die on the cross, but he did it anyhow and I personally glad he did so that the price for salvation is already paid in full. I remember a story of a man who had a flat tire and did not have a jack on a rainy day. A man pulled up and asked the man what was the problem and he got his jack and took off the tire but neither one of them had a spare. In a state of disappointment, the man who had the flat tire sat on the curb in the rain. Feeling sorry for the man the stranger sat next with the man. See the stranger didn’t have to sit with the man but he did it anyhow. He could have easily drove off and left the person there. However this type of love is pretty hard to do (may seem impossible to most) and is ideal for a marriage to flourish. Like scripture says whatever is impossible for man is possible for me. Therefore this love is a God given love, which means it is a choice. If you do not choose to accept God it would be pretty impossible to without his strengthen us. Now Eros would be a pretty good companion to follow Agape in a marriage or relationship, if both parties have and show Agape love. You do not have to have or express Agape love, but I challenge everyone to do it anyhow.

I hope that your mind and heart was open while reading. Also I pray this had cleared up any questions you may have about love or at least give you a good start on your journey to know more. As normal if you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave them.


Thank you for reading and may God continue to Bless You,
Greg " Da Spokesman" Stargell